Things you shouldn’t miss about college

Feeling nostalgic about leaving college? Wanting to go back and take that underwater basket-weaving class or African dance colloquium? It might seem scary heading out into the wild blue yonder, but from one graduating senior to another, here are a couple of reasons why a victory lap might not be necessary after all:

That randomly assigned roommate from Hades

People tended to have two one of two experiences with their randomly assigned roommate freshman year: best friends or worst nightmares. The roommate who always got caught with alcohol, who sexiled you six days of the week, who stole your food and never cleaned up anything — or the roommate who you rushed to room with sophomore year, who you still go out with on the weekends, who you’ll invite to your wedding so they can tell all the crazy stories about the two of you as stupid senioritis-ridden undergrads.

But let’s be honest, most people had the first one.

The dorms can be a great way to make friends, but at a time in life where people are experimenting and reinventing, the person you met freshman year can turn out to be a crazy. So good riddance to crazy roommates, the drama they bring and finally getting that underage drinking code of conduct violation off your record.

That tattoo you thought was a great idea

Tucson has more tattoo shops per capita than all the states, territories and many small island nations in this and our neighboring hemisphere. This isn’t just because the fixed gear-riding insert-a-social science-ology graduate students all need a place to get inked up. It’s because of lax laws on permits that make opening tattoo shops easier here than most anywhere else. This is an easy — and dangerous — trap for a 19-year-old college kid trying to fit in and stand out at the same time.

More than 45 million Americans now have ink, according to the Food and Drug Administration, as reported in Slate magazine. But the Chinese characters that you thought said “courage and strength” but really say “soup,” or the cursive Italian phrase “la bella vita” on the nape of your neck that’s hard to cover up might make you rethink your choices.

No worries, a little electrolysis or a career in music public relations will make those silly tats funny stories — but damn if it isn’t good to get away from temptation.

The glorious Arizona Student Unions

Yes, it was great when you could spend what felt like Monopoly money by swiping a CatCard to get a hangover cure breakfast burrito from the Highland Market. Until you remember fighting with a bunch of drunk freshmen for a spot in line, and that no matter how hard you tug, that courtyard Highland door is impossible to open. You can get a cheaper burrito and be less likely to be nabbed by the University of Arizona Police Department for drunk and disorderly if you just go to Taco Shop.

Sure, it’s easy to get chicken strips and fries from the Catcus Grill, but an adult can’t live on fried foods alone. Remember how great home cooking was and how nostalgic you got freshman year when you left it? You can do that every day as an adult — and then still indulge in Doritos for breakfast and leftover pizza for dinner when the mood strikes. You’ll get over Bagel Talk eventually, I promise.

That bike that kept getting stolen, or had the worst rider ever

Bike theft sucks. It didn’t matter how many U-locks and chains you slapped on that Magna 10-speed, some people just like jacking front tires. Sure the Bike Valet can keep watch from 9-to-5, but eventually bikes are out and vulnerable, and they will get stolen.

The only thing worse than that are the “I’m super cool for being green and riding my bike” bikers. You know the kind — bicyclists who never stop at stop signs, who ride on the sidewalks and look at pedestrians like they’re in the way or who have those pulsating strobe light headlights that are impossible to look at without almost falling into a seizure.

That tuition bill that kept going up

Save for student loans, you don’t have to pay the UA anymore for a piece of paper you’ll get in the mail a couple of weeks after your family snaps a million and three pictures of you in a gown and tassel this weekend. And that will be pretty sweet.

— Jazmine Woodberry is the arts editor. She can be reached at arts@wildcat.arizona.edu or on Twitter via @WildcatArts .


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