Column: The seven types of people you’ll meet at UA parties

When young adults are drinking in a party atmosphere, they often transform or intensify their personalities. Here are the types of people you’ll find at UA parties.

The Social Butterfly

This is the person who has zero fear socially. They are often found interjecting into conversations, regardless of the people or the topic. They can usually be found wandering away from the friends that they came with in order to meet new people.

They will be friends with anyone, and most people are not afraid to be friends with them, either. Despite their sometimes overbearing and boisterous personality, people are often not turned off by them.

The social butterflies differ from the other outgoing partygoers because they are friendly without being creepy. They thrive in the party environment.

The Attention Seeker

The attention seeker is not to be mistaken with the social butterfly. The social butterfly is there with the pure motives of making new friends. The attention seeker wants all eyes on them. They can be found doing crazy stuff thanks to the motivation that they get from their liquid courage. They are the ones who jump off the roof into pools or play crazy drinking games. They want to be the life of the party.

The Social Media Mogul

The other type of attention seekers are the ones who document the entire party on social media. Their Snapchat stories are never ending with pictures and videos of everything that happens around them. A picture is guaranteed to be posted on Instagram in the next 24 hours, and their followers are never disappointed with the constant live tweets.

The Touchy Feeler

We have all seen it before: the one who makes their rounds at the party but hardly ever seems to get lucky. Unlike the social butterfly, their addition to the conversation is often unsolicited. No one is interested in them because they reek of alcohol and desperation.

They often touch whoever they are talking to, making the people around them extremely uncomfortable. Their hazy state of mind affects their judgment, so they attempt to make sexual advances but only achieve anything if they are met with a fellow touchy feeler. No one wants the touchy feelers at the parties because they are creepy and can sometimes get scary if they take things too far.

The Sloppy Drunk

There are always the people who lack self-control. No matter how much of an experienced drinker they are, they make the mistake of drinking too much, too fast. Before the alcohol kicks in, they are often fun because they will accept any drinking challenge, which draws a lot of excitement and attention (it is not rare for the attention seeker to become the sloppy drunk) to their proximity.

The next thing they know, they can hardly walk and are incoherently vomiting on themselves. It’s almost as if their mental clock reversed 17 years and turned them into weird toddlers.

The Complainer

The complainer is the person who is never happy with the environment. They’re also known as the angry drunks. There are always either too many guys or too many girls disrupting their statistical chance of a hook-up. They usually feel the need to pick a fight with anyone who looks at them wrong, and they are notorious fun killers.

The Caretaker

This is the person that everyone should feel obligated to thank the next day. They watch what they drink and practically stay sober.

They have immense responsibility in terms of their friends and their drinking. They’re always scanning, making sure that the attention seeker isn’t doing anything that they will wake up regretting the next morning.

They have to monitor the social media mogul’s posting to make sure they don’t put anything online that could hurt their reputation. They have to make sure the complainer refrains from fighting anyone. They’re always looking out for their friends, ready to pounce if a touchy feeler gets a little too close for comfort.

More than anything, their goal is to make sure that no one becomes the sloppy drunk. The caretaker is a blessing to all parties everywhere.

Follow Claudia Drace on Twitter.