Storm Tracker: Just Cheney being Cheney

Storm Tracker is a regular feature of the Daily Wildcat, in which Perspectives Editor Storm Byrd analyzes a timely topic and gauges how upset you should be.

Dick Cheney, having long since fallen into the oblivion of former vice presidents, has resurfaced. Like all forgotten people, Cheney has found the best possible path back to relevance: writing a memoir. While everyone, particularly his critics and opponents, would like to read some explanations for all of his antics of deception, fact cherry-picking and waging illegitimate war, Cheney apparently isn’t obliging.

The memoir, which Cheney claims will “have heads exploding,” does nothing more than to show us more of the stubborn, anger-driven, maniacal former VP. According to The New York Times, the book, which will be published next week, results to nothing more than a burn book penned by Cheney. While there is reportedly some love for former President George W. Bush, much of the rest of the book amounts to nothing more than Cheney ripping other members in the White House for not listening to his every beck and whim.

It’s no secret that Cheney has largely been referred to as the puppetmaster behind the puppet that was former President Bush, but if there is anything astonishing about the book, it’s that the puppet seemed to have some mind of its own. The most revealing fact seems to be that Cheney urged bombings of Syria during reported secret nuclear reactor construction in 2007. Cheney expressed how he felt the U.S. ought to bomb the suspected area to send a message. At the time, the U.S. was worried not only about Syria, but also North Korea and Iran. Cheney saw this as an opportunity to crack down on them all. Much to Cheney’s disappointment, he was the only one in support of such a measure. Thus concludes all the worthwhile content of his book according to The New York Times.

The book should come as no surprise to anyone with knowledge of the notoriously secretive Cheney. His motto might as well be “it’s classified.” Cheney has always been a shady and guarded person and treats everything he does as such. Not only is Cheney known for not being straightforward, he’s also known for being cold and spiteful.

With the exception of the Syrian nuclear disagreement, the rest of the book is reportedly nothing but Cheney writing a love letter to himself, his thoughts and Bush. In all reality, this is nothing new, and nothing more than Cheney being himself. What is most unclear is what exactly motivated Cheney to write this memoir. Does he really think he’s revealing a side of himself the general public didn’t already know? You mean to tell me Cheney is a vindictive, egotistical, deceptive man blind to all the facts? No way, how would anyone ever have concluded this without a memoir by him?

Perhaps Cheney thought he had fans out there who idolized him so much that they just had to know all of his thoughts and views. I’m sorry, but I don’t want those nightmares, thank you. I would rather not know what horrible beliefs, schemes and goals of Cheney’s never escaped the mind that I would dub “the terror-dome.” Whether you’re a Republican or Democrat, let’s just try to pretend that this book didn’t happen. I feel that we all wish the presidency itself didn’t happen, we don’t need a book rehashing that. If you find yourself reading, don’t be surprised if you feel downpours of disgruntlement overcome you.