What the Top 40 taught me


With artists churning out singles by the boatload, it's tough keeping up with the latest jams. Heaven forbid you come across as square at a party for not knowing the words to whatever super catchy electro-nonsense Will.i.am. just released. It's a jungle out there.



Fear not, Wildcats. Some of us don't have CD players in our cars, and listen to nothing but tacky Top 40. So in case you were living under a rock since last January (that's when ""Tik Tok"" was popular. Remember that?), here's a little recap:

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Top bro comes out on top, bro



It's hard for me not to make assumptions about Mike Posner. I don't know if it's the pencil beard/shaved head combo, the lyrical contents of his music, his marketing certificate, his Greek life activity or the Marty McFly-esque duke jacket from the music video that paint the clearest picture for me.



It's also hard for me to not like his music. His singles ""Cooler than Me"" and ""Please Don't Go"" were both mega catchy and melodic synth-pop anti-ballads that don't take themselves too seriously. If you can get pass the image, Mike Posner is worth a try.



So I guess it's cool to like Chris Brown again.



After 2009's sharp turn from ""Kiss Kiss"" to ""Diss Diss"" following a widely-publicized domestic abuse scandal and the release of supremely ""meh"" album Graffiti, we were all sure Pretty Boy was Over Boy.



Totally not true. He's making hand over fist. I mean, ""Dueces"" was great. ""Yeah x3"" was all right. But really? One year? His PR people must have midi-chlorian counts higher than master Yoda's …



Enrique Iglesias lives?



I can't really imagine him as a sex symbol anymore, but that didn't stop his single ""I Like It"" from topping dance hit charts across the world.



I guess he's only 35, and it's pretty easy to look sexy next to Pitbull comparing himself to a plumber again.



Rhianna is the T-1000 of pop music



In the great void of new Gaga in 2010, there was money to be made. A new female trendsetter would arise. Many fought for the crown, but as usual all were bested by she with the weirdest haircuts. Sorry, Katy.



With four number-ones and tons of publicity, she will undoubtedly be the Kobe Bryant to Gaga's Michael Jordan pop diva when new singles spawn from the Lady's camp this year.



Justin Bieber made two sort of good singles



Featuring Ludacris on ""Baby"" and actually singing well on ""Somebody to Love,"" actions that almost lead me to believe that Bieber Fever may be about more than over-sexualizing a 15-year-old boy. But then he started releasing that typical junior high stuff and I'm no longer fooled.



Lady Gaga announced her album and revealed borderline Lupus



That's pretty much it. I think she went on tour too.



Lil Wayne can see the future or Drake is just really popular



When Lil Wayne commented on the financial promise of putting Drake on every hook in 2009's ""Money to Blow"", I thought he was just being lazy. It turns out he just knew he was going to jail, and boy howdy did he invest in the right Canadian teen actor.



Drake scored consistently with four chart-topping singles, was featured on 10 additional singles and his album debuted at number one. Top 40 fans love Drake like Andrew Jackson disliked Native Americans.



— Remy Albillar is a something major. He can be reached at wildlife@wildcat.arizona.edu.



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