OPINION: Self love is not selfish

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Marisa Favero | The Daily Wildcat

Large heart-shaped balloons float outside of the Forbes building on the University of Arizona campus on Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2018.

As college students, it can be really hard to put yourself first. There are so many things on your plate, that your own mental or physical wellness may no longer become a priority. Especially with the pressure of everyone around you, it almost feels selfish to want to take time for yourself. This is something we, as young adults, need to get over. Self-love is not selfish.

It is more important than ever to take time for yourself in college because you are surrounded by so many other people and are constantly moving at full speed every day. There are an endless number of priorities in college that you must manage, but if you don’t slow down once in a while and do things for yourself, you’re going to crash and burn. 

“Mental health affects every aspect of your life," said Hector Reyes, a mental health clinician and counselor at the Guerrero Student Center. "Everything that you try to do, you are bringing yourself to that task. If our tank is empty and we are just spent, then it is going to be really hard to show up for all of those different things."

This is why you have to put your own wellness before others because how you are feeling on the inside has a direct connection to how you act towards people on the outside. 

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It can be challenging to realize that you are giving more to the people around you than you are giving to yourself. But once you are able to create that balance in your life, I don't think you will ever want to go back. 

Marissa Farhi, a sophomore majoring in communications, and Wellness Chair of the Gamma Phi Beta sorority said that in past friendships she has definitely found herself giving more than the other person.  

“If a friend calls me and tells me about their life for 15 minutes and doesn’t ask me a single question about my life, it gets to a point where it it’s like this is exhausting. The energy has to be reciprocated," Farhi said.

This is something that I am guilty of in my own life as well. I had to realize that if I am constantly expelling my problems on to someone else, not only does it put a bigger burden on them, but it also shows me I might need better ways to cope with things on my own. 

Even though it is still so important to have people in your life who care about you and want to support you, everyone is dealing with their own problems. Sometimes it can be more beneficial to try and work through things with your own inner self. 

Farhi explained what does on a daily basis to help her check in with her emotions and reset her mental health. 

“Affirmations and journaling literally rewired my subconscious brain. Starting my day with a grateful heart has really helped me with self-love," Fahri said. 

She added that fueling your body with foods that make you feel good and incorporating movement into every day is important as well.

It may seem hard at first to create new habits in your life, but the key to bettering yourself is taking small steps in the right direction. You don’t have to incorporate all of these lifestyle changes at once, but by easing into things slowly, it will soon become second nature. 

Reyes said the best advice he can give to a college student wanting to start their self-love journey is to know that it takes time to figure it out. “Be open to different experiences, note what works and what doesn’t work, and see how the effects help you over time,” Reyes said. 

Once students are able to realize that it is normal to want to put yourself first and that it’s not going to label them as “selfish,” it becomes so much easier to love who you are and who you are becoming. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay in and give your body the quality time it needs to recharge and reset. 

I am a strong believer that trying out things like journaling, meditation and acts of gratitude will bring a lot more light into your life and your mind. 


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Isabelle Freguia

Isabelle Freguia is a freshman at the University of Arizona majoring in journalism with a public relations minor. She is originally from Seattle but moved to La Quinta, California. She is very passionate about writing and hopes to work for a fashion magazine one day.


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