Super Cool News: The ultimate UA bucket list

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Courtesy Arizona Athletics

UA mascots Wilbur and Wilma Wildcat pose for a photo outside of Old Main on campus.

Note: Super Cool News is a Daily Wildcat feature that shares the, yes, coolest news happening around town and around the country. Try not to take what its writers have to say too literally.

College is one of the busiest times of a young adult’s life. Between figuring out what we supposedly want to spend the rest of our lives doing, studying extensively for exams, writing papers and consuming large amounts of alcohol at parties, it can become easy to lose track of time. Before you know it, you’re about to graduate without having completed all of the things that UA students must do during their time here.

Luckily, even for those graduating, you still have time. UA has plenty of fun traditions to take part in before you finally walk across that stage and receive that $30,000-per-year piece of paper. 

Every student should have a UA bucket list with all the things they want to make sure to do before graduation, life and responsibility suddenly appear in front of them. Here are some ideas of what to add to yours.

Every graduating senior has to jump in Old Main Fountain at some point. Otherwise, did you even go to UA? What better way to send off your college experience than splashing in the disgusting water of Old Main Fountain. A fountain that may or may not get cleaned regularly and which no doubt thousands of students over the years have released various bodily fluids into. But look at it this way. If you can have fun splashing around in water like that and still come out of it alive and well, the job market will pose no challenges for you whatsoever.

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Only those who have seen it can confirm its existence, but UA legend has it that a unicorn statue exists somewhere on this campus. Finding the unicorn statue has become a basic requirement for all students here. Associated Students of the University of Arizona legislation has almost begun that will soon make it known on student transcripts whether that student located the unicorn statue while on this campus. 

Not finding the statue could be compared to graduating with a 1.0 GPA. Besides, various fake studies have shown that UA graduates who found the unicorn statue have a 16.3 percent higher chance of finding employment within 60 days of graduation. You don’t want to become the person still living on your parents’ couch in five years with terrifying unicorn statue nightmares haunting you at night.

Of course, some students will simply not find the statue and if this sounds like you, the next best bet may be to consume a large amount of sugar to the point where you feel like unicorns could start walking around and offering to take you on magical adventures with them.

Next up, we have something most students do seem to do, but you have to also remember to do: take senior pictures before you graduate. 

What better way to celebrate all your accomplishments and the bright future ahead than with a picture that makes you appear far better-looking than you actually appear? 

This also lets you practice for when you start looking for a job because you will then have to convince hiring managers how you are significantly smarter and more accomplished than you actually consider yourself.

Life becomes all about blowing yourself out of proportion and making yourself seem better than the pathetic waste of space you probably consider yourself most of the time and senior pictures allow you to start practicing that. Besides, even though senior pictures should make us look better than we actually do, our college years still have us looking our best.

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It’s all downhill from here, folks. The harsh realities of adulthood will soon crush our youthful glow, so we might as well capture these years while we can.

Not every potential UA bucket list idea can get explored here in detail, so here are some other possibilities. You may want to take a SafeRide, become friends with a University of Arizona Police Department officer, take your favorite professor out to lunch, eat at every single on-campus restaurant or spend a day as one of those people preaching on the Mall. In the end, only you know what you want to accomplish most before graduation.

Whether your college career has just recently started or if it will soon come to an end, you still have time to cross some things off your UA bucket list. It’s important to do things like that every once in a while, if only to take a break from school and clear your head. College may seem like a stressful nightmare a lot of the time, but you just might miss it when it’s gone.


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